Stuff Happens!

Its been an interesting week for me. On Thursday I was late for work due garbage detail at the house and I had a big surgery waiting for me so I was going a little fast through town. I saw the police car in the school district driveway and looked at my speedometer and new I was toast so I just pulled over and had my license and all ready before he could even get to me. He asked how fast I thought I was going and I said I thought it was about 36 or 37 and he said he had me at 33. I told him I knew I had broken the law and that I had a surgery waiting for me so please just do what you have to do. He came back and said that he appreciated my honesty and that he was not going to ticket me. I thanked him and offered to shake his hand but he politely declined for safety reasons. That combined with the shear relief flustered me and I blurted out thanks oscifer, oskifer, oksickfer . . . I couldn't get it out. I finally said his name, "Officer Hernandez", but by that time he was back at his car, and I was sure he was getting the breathalyser, so I took off, giggling at my stupidity.

You would think that I would have learned my "stupid" lesson for the week, but noooooh. I was out spraying for poison oak and the like on the bank above the drive way where I had been clearing above the driveway - just about the area that had all the poison oak that you and Erik hauled out of the ditch on the upper driveway. Anyway I was pretty close tot he edge and the spray tank was full and as I went to turn up the hill my back tire hit a stump and it tipped me over and down the embankment head first. I caught on to a stray poison oak vine and got twisted around so I was feet first by the time I hit the ditch. I was just sitting up and was feeling pretty good about it all when I realized a second to late that I hadn't accounted for the ATV. It smacked me in the back of the head and the back as it rolled over me and bent me flat at the waste. It knocked the wind out of me and I felt a little dizzy. I finally was able to breath and I could see that the ATV was on its side, nose into the ditch and the chemical was leaking out of the hole in the lid of the tank and the tank was still spraying out of the valve outlet where the hose had been ripped loose. I had every intention of solving that problem and tried to right the ATV but the next thing I knew I woke up with my head on the seat of the ATV. The fluid was still pouring out so I unplugged the wires and unstrapped the tank and was about to try to right the ATV again when I woke up with my head on the seat of the ATV. It all seemed so natural and resful, like taking a little nap, only I didn't remember laying down. I finally got the ATV right and backed out of the ditch. I looked at the half full tank of chemical and was about to try to get it out of the ditch and on the ATV but I remembered my head on the seat of the ATV and decided I better just get myself home so I pointed my trusty steed toward the house he took me home. I walked in the house and had Collin fetch mom. I was very weak and pale. I spent an hour in the recliner with ice packs on the back of my head and my thigh that was throbbing. I was feeling pretty good so I thought I should get up and take off my shirt and have a look at my back and head, and after I did that I felt funny and Cindy sensed that I wasn't right so she grabbed a chair and brought it into the bathroom and I sat down. . . . The next thing I remember is Cindy slapping me in the chest and yelling "WAKE UP QUIN WAKE UP!!!!" I felt like I was waking up from a nice dream. Then I saw that Cara was on the phone talking nervously to someone and I saw that Anna and Collin where standing there and I told everyone to mellow out and that I was OK. I was just having a nice little dream. Then it hit me that Cara was on a 911 call and I freaked out. I told them to hang up and that I was OK and not to send the ambulance. Cindy was red in the face and crying telling me to calm down and that I had no choice in the matter. She looked me square in the face and said "I thought you died". That was my cue to shut up. 10 Minutes later the Sherwood Fire department showed up and evaluated me. By then the ambulance was there and to my great relief they called off the life flight that was standing by. I argued with them all and told them I was fine and that I had just passed out. But, as usual the women get there way and I got to ride in an ambulance for the first time in my life. Yippeee! They took me to OHSU. I talked with the Ambulance EMT the whole way about his dying chickens, about Obama's health care plan, about being an ambulance guy. I was taken into the trauma ER and they started checking me out. BP - OK, Heart Rate 58. . . "are you a runner?" the nurse asked - "uh, Ya" I said in my deepest voice. Next they wheel in the ultrasound and I get a phone call from a member of the high council over YW. He already knows I won't be taking the 4th year girls backpacking on Monday and I start making suggestions. The young intern asks if we are LDS and says he is too. Same thing happened when Tayler went in for the attempt at the occluder deployment in his heart. Anyway they check my abdomen for bleeding - all good there. Draw blood for a CBC - no problems. Walk down to the Radiology room with the tech - joking that the only reason I was there was because my wife wanted to know if I really had a heart - (he thought it was pretty funny) - shoots chest rads and I ask to see them and of course they look great - no broken ribs or bruised lungs and real life heart right in the middle of my thorax. Next they hand be a cup and show me the little boys room . . you know the rest - no bladder or kidney trauma. New tech comes in and off we go to the CT room. Apparently there was some question as to whether I really had brain - turns out I do and its A OK - no sub-dural hemorrhage. And, I think, since they had a Guinea Pig that wasn't squealing they decided to let the newbies try an ECG - perfect sinus rhythm. So 2 hours later finding nothing wrong with me they send me home. (BTW - I never said "told you so" once)

Moral of the Story - if you are stupid enough to fall off you ATV going <1mph, but want to save money, never pass out in front of your wife -- it freaks them out and when the women are upset the doctors pull out all the stops. Its true!!!! No price tag on peace of mind you say? I'll send YOU the bill!

So I am fine. I'm sure I was being watched over. I have some bruised ribs and back, and several goose eggs on the back of my head, and by lower back in very stiff, and if you touch my left thigh I will probably cry, but other than that I 'm wonderful. I went to church today and made it through the whole thing.

Looks like I have 2 days off . . what to do? I hear the Poison Oak calling . . . .